Day 134 and a bottle of Muscat and a bottle of Shiraz downed in a bust!
What does it tell me about myself?
Not a lot!
Went to see my sponsor and he said he wanted to see me because "he doesn't want to end up like me!"
What a prick!
From there I went to a SMART meeting - another method of recovery.
I don't know where I am or what I will do, but I woke this morning with numb fingers and a prolonged drinking session is unlikely.
Day 1 again :-)
NEXT DAY:
I was right, a prolonged drinking session was unlikely.
What lessons did I learn?
AA meetings are not, by themselves, the answer for me.
I did 10 meetings in a week. Was the chair in the 9th one. Went to long-standing member's home for a cuppa on Sunday afternoon. Went out and drank.
Was feeling lower, and lower, and lower.
Had asked my sponsor to take me through the steps and he kept farting around taking me between 3 and 4.
"God" does not exist for me.
"Godliness" does! Having pure, powerful, constructive thought or emotion does exist for me.
Love exists for me and is the breath of godliness.
What works for me is the pure, the positive and the constructive. Inspiration.
I want what I want most, not what I want now!
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