SMART compared to AA

There is no "one way" to my recovery. Finding what works and using it, might be an answer.

Looking to avoid "The Guru" who knows EXACTLY what I am best to do.

Scientific investigation indicates that my recovery is best served by me finding what works for me and WORKING it.

What might I do for myself with SMART Recovery:

1. Learn self-empowerment and self-reliance.

2. Attend meetings that are educational, supportive and include open discussion.

3. Recover from addiction and alcohol abuse and live a satisfying life.

4. Learn a technique for self-directed change

5. Be supported in the scientifically informed use of psychological treatment and legally prescribed psychiatric and addiction medication.

6. Work on substance abuse, alcohol abuse, addiction and drug abuse as complex maladaptive behaviors with possible physiological factors.

7. Use methods that evolve as scientific knowledge in addiction recovery evolves.

8. Use methodologies that differ from Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous and other 12-step programs.

What Smart Recovery does NOT require me to do:

1. Believe in a Higher Power (although it’s okay if you do).

2. Commit to abstinence for life (though our abstinence based program aims to help you gain control regardless of your plans)

3. Commit to attending meetings for life (you are welcome at our meetings for as long as they are helpful to you).

4. “Label” yourself an “addict” or an “alcoholic” (we discourage the use of all negative or disparaging labels - a person is much more than one thing).

5. Proclaim yourself powerless over your addiction. (You are not powerless unless you say so!)

6. Accept the guidance of a sponsor, or commit to any requirements other than the goals of recovery that you set for yourself. This is a "Self-Management" program.

No one knows more about you, your situation, values, goals, concerns, and skills more than YOU.
No one is in a better position to anticipate how change will fit into your life.

Is there a behavior that you are dealing with that definitely needs change?

Or are you in a bit of contemplation about change with any of these behaviors; drinking, drugging, smoking, eating, shopping, gambling, sexual, etc. ( even "cutting" or other self-harm behaviors).

SMART Recovery can help you explore the possibilities of choice and change. The underlining process in any of these behaviors that can lead to addiction is what SMART Recovery focuses on.

The SMART Recovery 4-Point Program coincides with scientific research that shows people who have recovered successfully (regardless of the method used) seem to have "THREE THINGS" in common:

1. A COMMITMENT TO SOBRIETY;

2. A CHANGE IN LIFESTYLE; and they

3. PREPARE AND PLAN FOR AN URGE.

The SMART Tools are designed to be resources for the work of contemplating and/or initiating change through choice.

Here are my offerings of suggestions that have been helpful for many SMART members aka SMARTies. As you will see many will offer support and other suggestions. It is your choice how you use the amazing resources - see what resonates with you.

First, the SMART Tools are science and evidence based and the SMART COMMUNITY is Supportive.

SMART tools are applicable to many life issues beyond addiction. In general, they help one clarify one's thinking so that he/she can make more rational and helpful decisions in many areas of life.

The SMART tools are located in the SMART toolbox under the Resources drop down menu at the top of this page. Here are two SMART Tools to start with, the CBA and the HOV (Cost Benefit Analysis and the Hierarchy of Values) both are thought provoking tools to see just where you are and what choices you are making.

Second, Join the SMART community by connecting on the Message Boards or in the 24/7 chat room and/or the 27 online SMART meetings weekly.

Change may feel a bit overwhelming, and it really is just a process.

It comes down to one footstep at a time - no matter the size of a step.

Change is possible - it is helped by that first footstep.

Finding SMART Recovery and signing on, might be one of the biggest footsteps you have made.

Had First Anniversary of no alcohol at all on 14 June 2014 :)

As I was coming up to my first anniversary I thought "I feel great!"

"I am getting some things done in my life! I am getting an ever increasing feeling of moving forward! I am really feeling great! I think I can safely drink now."

I shared this idea at a SMART meeting and a member said,
"Let me get this straight. You have NOT used your Poison of Choice for 12 months and you are feeling sensational!
So much so, that you reckon you can now go back and use your Poison of Choice - the very thing that stopped you feeling sensational and consistently acting in your own best interests?"

I said, "Well I did think that, until NOW!!"

I started active recovery on 10 Dec 2012 in the AA rooms. I started with 30 meetings in 30 days - sometimes did 2 meetings a day.

I then went onto "90 in 90 days" - did quite a few more than that.

I picked up a drink 8 times in that first 6 months - 7 separate days and once for three days.
I drank at 134 days sober.

On 27 May 2013 I found SMART and my life took a decided turn for the better.

I also read "Rational Recovery" and was acquainted with the idea my 'Addictive Voice' is a paraplegic - without convincing me to donate my arms and legs to its cause, it is powerless.

From JvB at a SMART meeting, I heard, "early recovery is freedom from, later recovery is freedom to."

I am now an online Facilitator and a F2F Facilitator for SMART.

I will end my secretary roll for an AA meeting on the 26 July and will only attend the Sunday morning meeting of AA which I love, on the spiritual concept, funnily enough for me.

I do not have a Higher Power in the AA sense of the concept. I believe in love and I believe in Positive Thought as Higher Powers - but they are not sentient, in themselves, and will only work when I do.

Perhaps I'll come to some understanding that promotes improved tranquillity, through meditation - the thing is I am sober and living a life of my construction. A 'work in progress' that is far more constructive and consistent.

I started the journey in AA and I still dearly love some of the people in it. I continue the journey in SMART and dearly love, and am often inspired, by the people in it.

There are many paths to enlightenment. There are many paths to sobriety. What got me here, will not necessarily get me there.

"We stand alone, together."

Sobriety, recovery, reinvention, is an art. The right path for me to a life I want is only able to be walked by me - with the guidance of those who really care for me as a person, and who have sometimes walked a path before me.

I wish you a stout heart in your journey, and acceptance of self.

"Rather than Ask for Victory, Ask for the Persistence to step forward once again.

For when you take even a faltering step forward in a struggle, you bring honour to yourself.

Even more, you bring the message of hope and honour to us all."
 

Ten and a half months sober

Just came back from a work conference where I spent a week and a half in a room, by myself, with a bar fridge.

Just before I went on the conference, in answer to "If I drink while I'm away, no-one will know," the facilitator responded

"YOU will know."

"The most important person will know!"

Every time I heard those bottles clinking around when I opened the fridge door, I "played the tape through to the end" and laughed and said "that's not what I want!"

I am at the stage now where great change is possible - with commitment.
I am making a living, however I have the opportunity to have "a living that is making me."
Exciting!!

A year and a half ago, I looked up and saw the direction I was headed in and wanted the destination to change. Like any journey, a degree or two change in direction will cause the actual destination to be totally different. It wont necessarily be better or worse, just different.

Instead of rain and clouds on the horizon, I see flowers and sunshine as well.

Some flowers, when planted, will not grow.

Some, rarely, are trampled.

Some, even more rarely, are stolen.

The things I can CONTROL are the planting and the nurturing.

Some flowers can even send seeds to other people, who will plant them and create a paddock of flowers with me and others.

Without sobriety the will and the ability to plant exist in very diminished quantities.

SMART Facilitation Course

It has been a while since I have been here and a lot has happened.

I have broken up with my three year, very angry, partner and am on my own.

I decided to do the facilitators course at SMART recovery and am two days away from finishing it. It has been a case of "if you would truly know something, teach it!" I have learnt a huge amount from the material - particularly "motivational interviewing" and the insights it has broke to me about myself.

In particular, NO-ONE wants to be told! Everyone wants to be acknowledged as an individual and a person.

There are people I LOVE in AA.

I spent Xmas day, Xmas dinner, at an AA function with about 70 people - SMART Recovery had no such thing. I spent Xmas day with my mate from AA, Desmond.

However, I see a lot of 10 and 20 year AA people who are not well in themselves and who struggle as people.

Perhaps the fault is not AA - perhaps it is humanness.

AA helped me get myself Sober. It gave me the regular meetings and some people who cared about me to get my life back on track.

SMART Recovery has given me my sense of self back. Purpose and direction.

I believe that the combination of the two is essential for the beginning of total wellbeing.

Oh, there are people in SMART Recovery who are stuck and who struggle.

I would love all people in and out of AA and SMART Recovery to be at peace and live self-determining, full lives.

SMART Recovery "Tool Time" - A Cognitive Distortion

Tool time 23 Oct 2013 with TwoPutts

JAMMED with SLOP

Jumping to a conclusion
All or nothing thought
Mental filter
Magnification
Emotional reasoning
Discounting a positive

Should statement
Labelling
Over generalization
Personalization or blame

Cognitive Distortion
Ten Forms of a Self-Defeating Thought
http://www.skysite.org/primer/distortions.html

1. Jumping to a conclusion
I interpret a thing negatively when there is little or no fact to support my conclusion.
Mind reading: Without checking it out, I arbitrarily conclude that someone is reacting negatively to me or has a certain motivation.
Fortune telling: I predict that a thing will turn out badly. Before a test I may tell myself, 'I'm really going to blow it. What if I flunk?' If I'm depressed Imay tell myself, 'I'll never get better.'
I might ask myself: What evidence do I REALLY have? How much is this other person struggling? I might let it go a little bit.

2. All or nothing thought
I see a thing in a black or a white category. If a situation falls a bit short of perfect, I see it as a total failure.
When a person on a diet ate a spoonful of ice cream, they told themself, 'I've blown my diet completely.' They upset them so much with this thought that they gobbled down an entire bucket of ice cream!
I might ask myself: How bad is this REALLY? How much might I salvage to grow from this?
An ice-cube is less than an ice-berg.

3. Mental filter
I pick out a single negative detail and dwell on it exclusively, so that my vision of all of reality becomes darkened, like a drop of ink that discolours a beaker of water.
Example: I receive many positive comments about my presentation to a group of associates at work, and one of them says something mildly critical. I obsess about this reaction for days and ignore all the positive feedback.
I might ask myself: Where is a weight of evidence? Where is a positive I might build on? The ink only spreads, in this case, if I MAKE it spread. It isn't ink at all.

4. Magnification
I exaggerate an importance of a problem or shortcoming, or I minimize the importance of a desirable quality of mine.
This is also called a 'binocular trick.'
I might ask myself: Where is a positive? How might I build on this? A thing tends not to last.

5. Emotional reasoning
I assume that a negative emotion of mine necessarily reflects a way a thing really is: 'I feel a bit afraid about going on an airplane. It must be very dangerous to fly.' Or 'I feel a bit guilty - I must be a rotten person.' Or 'I feel a bit angry - this proves I'm being treated unfairly.' Or ‘I feel a bit inferior - this means I'm a second-rate person.' Or 'I feel a bit hopeless - it must really be hopeless.'
I might ask myself: How reasonable is it to make a bit of a feeling equal a bit of reality?
Look at the USA tool in REBT.
Listen to Hank Robb’s Podcast on “ACTing SMART."

6. Discounting a positive
I reject a positive experience by insisting 'it doesn't count.'
When I do a good job, I may tell myself that it wasn't good enough or that anyone could have done as well.
Discounting a positive takes a bit of joy out of my life and I make myself feel a bit inadequate and a bit unrewarded.
I might ask myself: What helpful thing might I say to someone else who has done this? I might say “Thank you!” when complimented. I might build on a success of mine – find it; enjoy it! "A bit of progress, rather than a bit of perfection" J

7. "Should statement"
I tell myself that a thing should be a way that I hope or expect it to be.
After playing a difficult piece on the piano, a gifted pianist told themself, 'I shouldn't have made a mistake.' They made themself feel so disgusted that they quit practicing for several days. 'Must,' 'ought' or 'have to' are a similar offender.
'Should statement' that is directed against myself tends to lead to a bit of guilt or frustration.
Should statement that is directed against another person or the world in general tends to lead to anger or frustration: 'They shouldn't be so stubborn or argumentative'
A person may try to motivate themself with a should or a shouldn’t, as if they were a delinquent who has to be punished before they can be expected to do a thing. 'I shouldn't eat that doughnut.'
This usually doesn't work because a should or must tends to cause me to feel a bit rebellious and to get an urge to do just the opposite.
It is called a 'shouldy' approach to life.
I might ask myself: Why 'should' it? Why 'must' it? Why 'ought' it? It would be nice if it wasthe way I prefer ir to be, however my life will go on regardless. I might look for a bit of progress rather than a bit of perfection.

8. Labelling
Labelling is an extreme form of all-or-nothing thought.
Instead of saying 'I made a mistake' I attach a negative label to myself. 'I'm a loser.' 

I might also label myself 'a fool' or 'a failure' or 'a jerk.'
Labelling is unhelpful because I am more than a thing that I do.
As a complex human being I exist - a simple 'fool' or 'loser' or 'jerk' does not.
A label is a useless abstraction that tends to lead to anger, anxiety, frustration, or low self- esteem.
I may also label another person.
When a person does a thing that rubs me the wrong way, I may tell myself: 'They're a S.O.B Then I feel that a problem is with that person's 'character' or 'essence' instead of with a thought or behaviour of theirs.
I tend to see them as 'totally bad.'
This causes me to feel hostile or hopeless about improving a thing and leaves little room for constructive communication.
I might ask myself: Is this ALL you, or they, are?
Aren't I much more sophisticated and valuable than one, two or fifty things that I have done?
"Once I have an opinion of someone, I cease to experience the person and just experience my opinion of them."
This works for me as well as for them.
I might consider giving ME or THEM a little bit of room to just be – no one thing speaks about all things in a person.

9. Over-generalization
I see a single negative or unhelpful event, such as a romantic rejection or a career reversal as a never-ending pattern of defeat by using words such as 'always' or 'never' when I think about it.
A depressed salesman became terribly upset when he noticed bird dung on the windshield of his car. He told himself, 'Just my luck! Birds are always pooping on my car!'
I might ask myself: How possible is it that this will ALWAYS or NEVER occur? In what way might I be limiting myself with this?

10. Personalization or blame
Personalization occurs when I hold myself personally responsible for an event that isn't entirely under my control.
When a person received a note that their child was having a difficulty in school, they told themself, 'this shows what a bad parent I am,' instead of trying to pinpoint a cause of this problem so that they could be a bit helpful to their child.
When another person's partner beat them, they told themself, "lf only I were better in bed, they wouldn't beat me."
Personalization tends to lead to guilt, shame, or a feeling of inadequacy.
A person might do an opposite.
They might blame another person or a circumstance for a problem of theirs, and they overlook a way that they might be contributing to this problem.

'The reason my marriage is so lousy is because my spouse is totally unreasonable.'
Blame usually doesn't work very well because another person is likely to resent being a scapegoat and they will just toss some blame right back in my lap.
It's like a game of hot potato - no-one wants to get stuck with it.
I might ask myself: Does it matter so much who or what caused this?
What might I do a bit of now to move forward?

"For me to blame someone else - shows a lack of maturity and a lack of education.

To blame myself - my education has begun and I am starting to mature.

To blame no-one and get on with a solution, or a helpful thing I might do, or an unhelpful thing I might not do, as a result - my education is complete and I have matured a bit.”

 

- Phil Viney

Day 88 of straight sobriety - 264 days of not drinking out of the last 274 :)

It has not been EASY :) - not in the least!

What has helped is the support of others who allowed me to be on the journey that I needed to take.

What has NOT helped are people who KNOW EXACTLY what I should be doing and who tell, yell, cajole me to do it! They would not be of help me in a million years.

The love of people who hug me and are there to simply support me and encourage me to do the next right thing as I see it.

SMART and the tools therein - especially the work-book and the tool-time sessions.

I am experiencing much greater mental clarity. Astoundingly better memory - especially for things I put somewhere and can find again! Once I leave the dance studio, I not only remember the routines THAT day but I can also recall them the next day! Haven't been able to do that for years.

My general mood is lighter. I have bouts of happiness. I am quicker with a smile and more content as a person.

I am listening to motivational recordings and getting them faster. I am more optimistic about the future and living a life of my choice.

It is easier this time and I suppose that is the nature of any journey - especially mountain climbing, where the life of intoxication has to be pushed off the top of this thought mountain, and replaced with something far more constructive.

Effective Beliefs and Choices

MOST times I have to use a bit of PMA – Push My Ass, somehow

A bit of ACTION creates a bit of motivation

A bit of PRACTICE to develop a bit of a habit of my conscious choice

Get a bit rid of an unhelpful idea like a bit of rock out of my rowboat.

E of ABCDE tool = Effective new belief

Planning, Patience, Practice, Persistence is needed in an endeavour I choose

Effective belief and choice

Healthy Belief

Helpful Belief

Healthy Risk Taking

Have a plan

Work on LFT – Lowered Frustration Threshold - make it HFT - a bit Higher Frustration Threshold

A new belief doesn't have to be radically different than the old - could just be a toned down more realistic version of it ("this is unpleasant and I can stand it” versus "this is awful and I can’t stand it.")

DO a bit better now, feel a bit better later

New belief will not be an old friend, it may even be uncomfortable – like a NEW SHOE. Know that it is what is needed and that it will look and serve me better, and it needs to be “worn in” a little bit over time.

My old belief was cobbled together from all kinds of absurd sources - school, pop-culture, parent, etc... This time around maybe take some time to pick or choose and carefully consider what is a bit more helpful to believe - then set out to believe it.

I would “prefer" to do well - “Prefer” rather than “demand”

B = Story I tell myself about the A

I REACT to the B, rather than the A

C = B     C ≠ A

It is a thought of mine which tends to cause stress = belief-based stress

D – where is evidence that the belief B is real? Where is evidence that the belief B is helping me?

E – Effective Belief, rather than happening “spontaneously,” are what I choose my life to look like and how I am setting myself up to be.

I put in some effort to create my own, new, healthy thought.

I DO a bit better now, to FEEL a bit better later.

Cognitive Dissonance – gap between what I cognitively accept and when I emotionally feel better because of it. An emotion needs to “catch up.”

I am a fallible human being - perfection is not even on my radar. :)

ABCDEF = a bit of a FEELING that is helpful, or desirable, or constructive.

ABCDEFG = GOAL is to “cope” in a constructive, or participative way. To participate a bit more fully. A bit of PROGRESS, rather than a bit of perfection!

ABCDEFGH = HAPPINESS because I am doing what I can do to control a thought of mine, which is where a bit of my true power exists. Unable to determine an outcome from other people, places and things. May have a little influence, but the determination is “in the hands of the Gods.” I only have control over HOW I think and WHAT I do.

I do my bit better work with ME. It is the most important tool I have.