Life wants to exist

No matter how I attempted to poison myself and destroy my wellbeing, my body and my psyche continued to bounce back.

My life wanted to go on, despite my efforts.

Scientists have shown that if you put all the ingredients for life in a puddle, eventually life will form.

Life wants to be, to exist, to form. What kind of life, that is the question?

It seems that recovery has three impediments:

1. The monkey/addictive voice/animal brain/horse/limbic system/salesman/bullshitter - that just wants me to do my Poison of Choice (PoC) and doesn't give a shit about me and what is in my long-term best interests.
2. My spoiled child! Don't tell me not to have one! I'll show you! I'll have 10!!
3. Conditioning. Like Pavlov's dogs, ring the bell, put me in a situation, sound, sight, smell, thought, and the response will be, without intervention, 'automatic.'

Thing is,

1. I can switch on my higher mind
2. I can grow up, mentally
3. I am not a dog and I can recognise, intervene and retrain myself or be retrained

"Psychological and Emotional residue" was mentioned the other day as well. Acknowledging that there are still some things that I am required to acknowledge, deal with, live with, or let go.

Practice, Persistence, Patience and Stubbornness are all important.

"“Recovery capital.” It is a threefold engagement by the recoveree drawing on:

1. one, strengths from within himself or herself;
2. two, an engaged group of family and friends;
3. three, a recovery-friendly community within which the recoveree interacts on a daily basis."

http://aaagnostica.org/2013/08/18/all-paths-to-recovery-are-cause-for-celebration/

Takes all kinds of input to get recovery.